FORCED
if you’ve seen me on my knees
in dirt and dust and bone and rust
or begging someone, please, if you must
if you were concerned or pained by my condition
or a sense of unease crept in on you, a suspicion
and now you think you have questions
as i used to think i have them too
or suggestions maybe, well, you should know
it wasn’t some old wisdom
that burned down my kingdom
not gratitude
no sudden awakening
that made me bow my head
in humility and servitude,
not a new beginning
it wasn’t kindness
that scratched
this lifeless
resigned smile
on my face of blindness
it wasnt the truth of an epiphany
that made me wear this cloak of volatility
nor some divine intervention
that slowly wore down my intention
no
it wasn’t my fake selfs bad behaviour
or all my substitutes and god-replacements failure
nor was it a mere accident
in which i lost my arms, my arts,
and some other body parts
that made me pray for mercy
in abandonment
and gave me an insight
shrouded in celestial light
no
i want you to know
since i still have a voice
i didn’t have a choice
i was simply forced
©2021 Bálint Rádóczy